IELTS Writing Task 2

Please check my essay below.
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You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:
People often find it difficult to adapt to new situations in their lives. Why do you think this is? What measures can you suggest to make it easier?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Write at least 250 words.
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My essay:
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People frequently face new circumstances in their lives; Some of them are easy to handle; however, others can be quite challenging.

One reason for this difficulty is that individuals have trouble with adapting to unfamiliar experiences because of the fear of unknown. People will have to do things that they have never done or have not thought about before. They may feel that they are uncapable of coping with new situations.

Another reason is that stepping outside comfort zone is challenging. People do not want to step outside where they feel safe or comfortable, preferring to stay in this situation instead of trying to work harder or achieve more. For instance, if someone moves to a new place, they not just only have to get used to the place but also have to form new friendships and probably start a new job. As a result, all these changes can bring the overwhelmed feeling.

One key to dealing with change is data. People tend to afraid of the unknown, so they should always gain information as much as possible about the new situation before attempting the change. After that, one should develop their positive mindset, focus on what they can control, and break down the unknown into smaller, manageable components. Another measure is that being patient and not expecting perfection at the beginning. For example, getting a new job and starting it will probably be quite a difficult challenge with some aspects of it at first; however, with time, one will gain the knowledge and experience that they need.

In conclusion, it is essential for us to be prepared for the new situation in our lives both by being well-informed about changes that might bring consequences and by giving ourselves time to adapt to them.

Two things. One, I don't know why Teechar wants to work so hard. Two, you never see "In conclusion" used by a professional writer.

I used to respond to these sorts of things. That's partly why there is so much to look at in this section.

Aren't you taking way longer than 40 minutes?

By "the new situation" do you mean there is only going to be one?

I think the point of the writing task is to see how agile you are in your thinking. It's one of those new situations they are talking about.

Tarheel said:

Two things. One, I don't know why Teechar wants to work so hard. Two, you never see "In conclusion" used by a professional writer.

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1) If there are too many mistakes, Teechar doesn’t have to check it (it’s Teechar’s choice). I’m just asking Teechar to review my essay because I need feedback, and I don’t have anyone else to check it for me.
2) I don’t know that it’s not used by a professional writer. I mean "In conclusion".

Tarheel said:

I used to respond to these sorts of things. That's partly why there is so much to look at in this section.

Click to expand...

Tarheel said:

Aren't you taking way longer than 40 minutes?

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3) Around 1 hour(((

Tarheel said:

By "the new situation" do you mean there is only going to be one? I think the point of the writing task is to see how agile you are in your thinking. It's one of those new situations they are talking about.

Click to expand...

No, there are several of them.

@Introvert :
1- What is your target score in IELTS, and when are you planning to take the test?
2- It is considered weak to merely paraphrase the given prompt and make that the introduction.
3- It is extremely important to pay close attention to the prompt so that you do not stray off topic. In the one above, you were asked to discuss why people find it difficult to adapt to new situations. However, your essays seems to talk about why people might be reluctant to make changes in their lives. That is a different topic.
3- If you want to get a good score in IELTS, you should try to give some persuasive examples to demonstrate your point and convince the reader/examiner. The ideal structure for a body paragraph is general to specific. That means, after the topic sentence, you present a point, zoom in on it, then give an example. You then move on to the next point, and so on.

Take a look at my replies in the following threads, revise your essay, and repost it below when you're ready.