Could you check the text, please?

Status
Not open for further replies.

GeneD

Senior Member
Joined
Mar 18, 2017
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
Russian
Home Country
Belarus
Current Location
Belarus
Could you check the text, please? Is it grammatical? Are there many "rough" places? It's not an essay, nor any kind of literature. I'm going to post it on a forum, and I'm curious about its grammatical correctness. Would you help me?

The problem with the ocean rowing records is that manpower isn't really the main power being used while rowing an ocean. The main power is the current and wind, and sometimes one person can beat a team when he or she is wise, experienced or/and lucky enough. Konyukhov himself said in one of the interviews I happened to read that while sailing his yacht in the previous years he noticed that in some places in the ocean his boat was moving faster and in some parts slower and that while his rowing boat voyage he was always seeking for such swift currents and tried to catch them and use them. Maybe he's a more experienced sailor than the arctic team you mentioned, maybe just a luckier one... Anyhow, I see no reasons why such a record couldn't even be beaten in the future. The ocean is still quite an unfriendly place for man and isn't well-explored yet. Who knows how many kinds of current there are within the Peru Current and the South Equatorial Current whose power Fyodor was using? Also, how many people are there having a burning desire to cross an ocean in such a boat? What for? Had there been some substantial prize money, I think, we would have already seen some much more amazing achievements than Fyodor's. And even without prize money, I expect Fyodor's record to be beaten in the near future because ocean rowing is becoming a hobby for more and more people. So I see no reason why to question this "feat" of Konyukhov's. His not really a "champion" in some common sport, but more of an explorer.
 
Last edited:
while and the last His are ungrammatical. Remove why and the first for.

Break the whole thing up into more digestible paragraphs. It's really not pleasant to read a block of text this big on a screen.
 
Thanks, Frank. Which 'while' are you talking about? There are a few, and it's one of the words I'm always unsure of.

Should I remove 'for' from the sentence where he was looking for the best currents? Is it ungrammatical to say 'seek for'?

I see no reason why to question... Is it this 'why' that should be removed?

I don't know what to think about the "his" mistake. :) Obviously, it still sounds the same to me as "he's" even though I'm trying to train my ear so that it can distinguish the /i:/ and /ɪ/ sounds.

I'll try to break up the text, thanks.
 
How about this? Does it read easier?

The problem with the ocean rowing records is that manpower isn't really the main power being used while rowing an ocean. The main power is the current and wind, and sometimes one person can beat a team when he or she is wise, experienced or/and lucky enough. Konyukhov himself said in one of the interviews I happened to read that while sailing his yacht in the previous years he noticed that in some places in the ocean his boat was moving faster and in some parts slower and that
while his rowing boat voyage he was always seeking for such swift currents and tried to catch them and use them. Maybe he's a more experienced sailor than the arctic team you mentioned, maybe just a luckier one...

Anyhow, I see no reasons why such a record couldn't even be beaten in the future. The ocean is still quite an unfriendly place for man and isn't well-explored yet. Who knows how many kinds of current there are within the Peru Current and the South Equatorial Current whose power Fyodor was using? Also, how many people are there having a burning desire to cross an ocean in such a boat? What for? Had there been some substantial prize money, I think, we would have already seen some much more amazing achievements than Fyodor's. And even without prize money, I expect Fyodor's record to be beaten in the near future because ocean rowing is becoming a hobby for more and more people.

So I see no reason
why
to question this "feat" of Konyukhov's. He's not really a "champion" in some common sport, but more of an explorer.

I highlighted for and why. Were you talking about them?

[edit]
...and that while his rowing boat voyage...
Is this the ungrammatical 'while' you mentioned? Would "at the time of his rowing boat voyage..." be correct?
 
Last edited:
Yes, that's the while I meant. You could replace it with on or during. And yes, those are the for and why that I meant.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top