We have different teaching ways how to teach

The following conversation took place between my friend and me. We've been talking about my decision not to work as a tutor of Chen’s daughter.

Hook: Are you serious? You really don't want to teach Chen's daughter anymore?
Silver: Yes. I want to take a break. It's super tiring teaching her daughter. I've also been planning to travel to the UK to meet some friends who've helped me with my English. (Hook is a close friend of mine.)
Hook: Alright. But I still don't know why? You taught her daughter for such a long time.
Silver: Here's the thing. Chen is a professional Chinese teacher who works in the best middle school here. I suspect that she often doesn't agree with my teaching methods because I noticed more often than not that she wasn't following what I had asked her to do to help her daughter. Let me give you an example. I told her daughter to read English every day and I helped her to correct the mistakes in her pronunciation. She didn't do that. Things like this are many.
Hook: Sorry to hear that, you never told me this.
Silver: It's okay. We have different teaching ways how to teach students but I dare not argue with a professional teacher.

Please write me a natural version of the italic sentence.

Right from the start, make your mind up. You're either the "tutor of Chen" (sentence two of the introduction) or you tutor Chen's daughter (Hook's first line).
Notwithstanding the fact that "a tutor of Chen" is grammatical but awkward, you should know that it means that you tutor Chen.

emsr2d2 said:

Right from the start, make your mind up. You're either the "tutor of Chen" (sentence two of the introduction) or you tutor Chen's daughter (Hook's first line).
Notwithstanding the fact that "a tutor of Chen" is grammatical but awkward, you should know that it means that you tutor Chen.

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Sorry, I forgot to check the text. I’ve improved it.

Much appreciated. Please suggest a natural expression of the italic sentence.

Let's improve the context first, which makes little sense in places. Please answer my questions below, so we can understand better what you mean.

Silverobama said:

Hook: Are you serious? You really don't want to teach Chen's daughter anymore?
Silver: Yes. I want to take a break. It's super tiring teaching her daughter. I've also been planning to travel to the UK to meet some friends who've helped me with my English. (Hook is a close friend of mine.)
Hook: Alright. But I still don't know why? This is odd. Silver has just given two reasons why. You taught her daughter for such a long time.
Silver: Here's the thing. Chen is a professional Chinese teacher who works in the best middle school here. I suspect that she often doesn't agree with my teaching methods because I noticed more often than not that she wasn't following what I had asked her to do to help her daughter. Let me give you an example. I told her daughter to read English every day You mean you told Chen to make sure her daughter did the reading? and I helped her to correct the mistakes in her pronunciation. You helped the daughter? Okay. But what does that have to do with Chen? She didn't do that. Who didn't do what? Things like this are many. Things like what?

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Well, giving a student reading homework isn't really a 'method', I don't think. And correcting a student's pronunciation certainly isn't. What you seem to be saying is that Chen simply doesn't listen to you. Is that what you mean? I presume that Chen is paying you, so I can't imagine she has a serious problem with your methods.

Thank you so much, teacher Jutfrank, here are the answers:

1)

You mean you told Chen to make sure her daughter did the reading?

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Yes. I told Chen to supervise her daughter reading english every day to help her with the correct pronunciation.

2)

You helped the daughter? Okay. But what does that have to do with Chen?She didn't do that. Who didn't do what? Things like this are many. Things like what?

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Yes. I helped the daughter. It has nothing to do with Chen but Chen should supervise this. Her daughter is naughty and doesn’t always listen to me. The daughter didn’t read while the mother didn’t order her to do that.

jutfrank said:

Well, giving a student reading homework isn't really a 'method', I don't think. And correcting a student's pronunciation certainly isn't. What you seem to be saying is that Chen simply doesn't listen to you. Is that what you mean? I presume that Chen is paying you, so I can't imagine she has a serious problem with your methods.

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Chen doesn’t listen to what I asked her to do to help her daughter. I know my methods are not good because I’m not an English teacher at all. But I do tutor many people and I share what you teach me with them. It seems that we’re talking about the same old thing again. She pays me is not the reason why she shouldn’t let her daughter to follow my instructions. She also hopes that her daughter can correct the mistakes in her pronunciation, for example. I’m not a professional English teacher like you but I can tutor a 10-year-old Chinese girl, no problem.

Like I’ve already told you. Chinese parents who don’t understand English are very demanding. Yeah, you can judge me but I have to say that my English is far better than those parents.

Silverobama said:

Yes. I told Chen to supervise her daughter reading english every day to help her with the correct pronunciation.

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So you mean that by reading English every day, Chen's daughter will improve her pronunciation? I don't understand how that works, but okay.

Silverobama said:

Yes. I helped the daughter. It has nothing to do with Chen but Chen should supervise this. Her daughter is naughty and doesn’t always listen to me. The daughter didn’t read while the mother didn’t order her to do that.

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Okay, I see. So you have a problem with Chen because she doesn't do what you'd like her to do. Fine.

Silverobama said:

I know my methods are not good because I’m not an English teacher at all.

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You're not talking about methods. You're talking about the fact that Chen doesn't do what you suggest. By the way, if you teach English, that makes you an English teacher, even if you're unqualified and terrible at it.

Silverobama said:

She pays me is not the reason why she shouldn’t let her daughter to follow my instructions.

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Yes. You mean to say that you think she should do what you tell her to do. I think that's reasonable.

Silverobama said:

She also hopes that her daughter can correct the mistakes in her pronunciation, for example.

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I don't understand this. How is that possible?

What you seem to be saying is that you're tired with Chen not doing what you ask, and you're afraid to bring up the subject because you and her both believe that she has a better understanding of how her child can learn than you do. Is that right?

jutfrank said:

I don't understand this. How is that possible?

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She wants her daughter to improve her English. She used to teach her daughter by using her own ways. She asked her to read illustrated books, and she asked her to learn the Phonics, she asked her to dub some movies, all these methods are good, yes, but when her daughter made mistakes, she couldn’t help her with that. She pronounced those words incorrectly because she isn’t an English teacher.

jutfrank said:

What you seem to be saying is that you're tired with Chen not doing what you ask, and you're afraid to bring up the subject because you and her both believe that she has a better understanding of how her child can learn than you do. Is that right?

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Yes!

Thanks a lot!

Based on what you've said, this is my best suggestion:

We have different ideas about what's best for her daughter's learning, and I daren't argue with a qualified teacher.

It doesn't matter what the subject is. If the student makes mistakes and nobody corrects those mistakes that person isn't going to learn what they should learn. It doesn't make sense to pay somebody to teach you something and then not follow instructions.

Teaching is work. However, success only partly depends on the teacher. The learning is up to the student (obviously).

You appear to have two main problems here:
1. A child who perhaps doesn't really want to be tutored.
2. A parent who doesn't want to take part in her child's English practice.

There might not be much you can do about either one of those things for now. You can only control what happens during the tutoring sessions. If I were you, I'd give up trying to get Chen's mum to help. Just do the tutoring sessions and take the money! If her mum complains at some point that she doesn't seem to be making much progress, then you can say "That's because she's not been doing the homework I've set her and no one has made her do it". The ball will be very much back in the mum's court at that point.

Why has this thread been moved to the Teaching English section? It's about language, not teaching.

emsr2d2 said:

You appear to have two main problems here:
1. A child who perhaps doesn't really want to be tutored.

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Probably. I actually hate to tutor anyone who doesn't want to be tutored. I'm not short of money. But almost every Chinese child I know are being tutored. This is sad but true. I couldn't turn her down. Chen is my neighbor in the mountains, every year we spend two months in the mountains escaping the summer heat. Her father and my father are good friends; they play mahjong every day together. Last year she invited me for lunch and told me she might need my help to teach her daughter. I was a bit happy because being employed by a professional Chinese teacher in a prestigious middle school is something I can be proud of. Sometimes I do need some encouragement like this. Then I gave a demonstration class and I noticed that her daughter (Sherry) didn't learn anything from my predecessor because she made mistakes when I asked her to pronounce some English words her previous teacher had taught her. She told me she had learned Phonics from her previous English teacher but she still made many mistakes. I remmeber I gave her ten words and asked her to pronounce them, two out of 10 were correct. Those words were neither long nor short, I don't think Phnoics has a lot to do with how many letters there are in a word but it depends mainly on how we pronounce those "letter combination", sorry, I don't know the technical or academic word here, it's like "uck" in "duck", "luck" or "ank" in "tank", "rank", "frank", etc. Then her mom asked me to give it a try. I was trying to express myself clearly but my English isn't good enough to express it neatly. I've tried my best. I was also typing on my phone instead of on the keyboard, and now I'm doing this on the keyboard, which is much faster and efficient.

emsr2d2 said:

2. A parent who doesn't want to take part in her child's English practice.

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Right. Her parents are very busy. I think actually this is first of all, like teacher jutfrank mentioned, a language question. But it's also a case of culture difference. Students in other countries don't need to study like how Chinese students do nowadays. They also can learn from open-minded teachers. In China, things are different. On one hand, students need to learn advanced knowledge so that they can apply for better universities in the future. Many 18-year-old schoolgirls and boys are learning IELTS courses. Normally, an 18-year-old student needs to take the Gaokao (college entrance exam) and they are required to know 4,000 words. This is far from enough for a student who wants to study abroad.

emsr2d2 said:

There might not be much you can do about either one of those things for now. You can only control what happens during the tutoring sessions. If I were you, I'd give up trying to get Chen's mum to help. Just do the tutoring sessions and take the money! If her mum complains at some point that she doesn't seem to be making much progress, then you can say "That's because she's not been doing the homework I've set her and no one has made her do it". The ball will be very much back in the mum's court at that point.

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Good point!

Much appreciated!

Say:

Almost every Chinese child I know is being tutored.

jutfrank said:

Why has this thread been moved to the Teaching English section? It's about language, not teaching.

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I'm not sure who moved it but I'm moving it back. Despite the fact that it's turned into a thread about how to deal with this tutoring situation, it is indeed about language.